Monday, June 25, 2012
Stuck in Reverse.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Two suitcases.
Over the 22 years of being married to each other, Annie's parents have been through thick and thin. But mostly thin. They fought. They said things that they didn’t mean. They left some things unsaid. They screamed at the top of their lungs without really knowing what came out of their mouths. They were just a married couple.
When Annie was a little kid, she didn’t really know what was happening. All she remembers is looking through the bars of the stairs, watching her parents hurting each other with their words, and crying her heart out. Then her brother would come sit by her side and comfort her. He really is the best brother anyone could ever ask for. One day she asked him: “Are they gonna get divorced?”. Annie didn’t even know what that meant -she was too young to understand what was going on, old enough not to ignore it. He said no, that everything would be alright. And it did; it always did. This moment, this conversation, it has had a huge impact on her relationship with her brother. Nothing, no one could ever break the faith she had put in him. But then again, she was just a kid. What the heck did she know about life? About anything?
Everybody lies. ▬Gregory House
A few years passed and another fight, among so many other ones, emerged out of nowhere while Annie's family was having dinner. It was a big one though. This, changed the way Annie looked at her dad, and her mom, forever. So, after all the “You whore!”; “You son of a bitch”s, her dad just grabbed two suitcases and threw them from the second floor onto the main floor. He basically asked his wife to pack all her shit and leave the house. As usual, tears started rolling down little Annie's cheeks and she stood there, waiting for her mom’s response to that. All she did was walk past the suitcases and ignore the whole of what had just happened.
What came after that was dead silence. No one talked. Her dad calmed himself down. Her brother went back to his school work. And Annie went to bed. But one thing that’s been engraved into her memory was the look on her mom’s face as she walked past the two suitcases - it was fear. Fear of losing everything. Fear of losing the home that she took time to decorate oh-so-well. Fear of losing her son and daughter. Fear of losing what she was meant to achieve during her lifetime on this Earth.
She just chose to act indifferent about it. Then the same old story repeated itself - everything went back to normal. But they knew, that one day it would all come out again.
When Annie was a little kid, she didn’t really know what was happening. All she remembers is looking through the bars of the stairs, watching her parents hurting each other with their words, and crying her heart out. Then her brother would come sit by her side and comfort her. He really is the best brother anyone could ever ask for. One day she asked him: “Are they gonna get divorced?”. Annie didn’t even know what that meant -she was too young to understand what was going on, old enough not to ignore it. He said no, that everything would be alright. And it did; it always did. This moment, this conversation, it has had a huge impact on her relationship with her brother. Nothing, no one could ever break the faith she had put in him. But then again, she was just a kid. What the heck did she know about life? About anything?
Everybody lies. ▬Gregory House
A few years passed and another fight, among so many other ones, emerged out of nowhere while Annie's family was having dinner. It was a big one though. This, changed the way Annie looked at her dad, and her mom, forever. So, after all the “You whore!”; “You son of a bitch”s, her dad just grabbed two suitcases and threw them from the second floor onto the main floor. He basically asked his wife to pack all her shit and leave the house. As usual, tears started rolling down little Annie's cheeks and she stood there, waiting for her mom’s response to that. All she did was walk past the suitcases and ignore the whole of what had just happened.
What came after that was dead silence. No one talked. Her dad calmed himself down. Her brother went back to his school work. And Annie went to bed. But one thing that’s been engraved into her memory was the look on her mom’s face as she walked past the two suitcases - it was fear. Fear of losing everything. Fear of losing the home that she took time to decorate oh-so-well. Fear of losing her son and daughter. Fear of losing what she was meant to achieve during her lifetime on this Earth.
She just chose to act indifferent about it. Then the same old story repeated itself - everything went back to normal. But they knew, that one day it would all come out again.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Barbaric horses.
“What you want” - the problem with that expression is that it’s frequently at odds with what’s right. Doing what I want to do has never been a factor. It’s more like doing what I am expected to do. I do not live for myself, rather, I live for the people I love. I guess it could be a bad thing. But it's also the one thing that has kept me from f**king up my life. I love them too much.
I usually am a forward person. And I like it when my friends tell me straight up if there is an issue between us. (Btw, I like to jump from one topic to the next randomly. Out of nowhere. So bear with me. Or you can f**k off.) You would think that people in general wouldn't have a problem with that, being forward. But no, that's not how it works - there are always lies so that 'the other person doesn't get hurt'. People! Of course hearing the truth now is still going to hurt. So will it later on - even more should I say. Hence, why not tell the truth right f**king now? It's as if they want you to build up the feelings, the attachment so that one day, they can decide when to let things blow up in your face. And then they apologize. "Sorry, I never meant to hurt you."Do they really think a fuck is given when they "didn't mean to"? NO. No fuck is given. It still hurts like hell you bloody fools. Isn't it a lot easier to just say you're sorry? You may mean it. But you should allow the other person to feel whatever the f**k they want to feel. Instead of wasting your saliva by apologizing, do something about it. Take action! Try to make it right. Not a damn is given to your sorry. Action - it can be so powerful I tell ya. Yeah, I'm done ranting about that now. (I am one f**ked lady.)
After months of preparation and stress over pointless barbaric little things, the night that we all have been waiting for the past two years was finally here. And now it's over. Prom is over. Was it worth it? All that money spent. All the heartache we inflicted on ourselves out of jealousy. It's sad that I allowed myself to be dragged down by those brainless little bitches who will, according to me, be very disappointed the day they discover the center of the universe, and realize that they are not it. My dad always said that movies are the closest reflections to what life is really about. That's debatable, but somehow correct in some aspects. I never thought prom, especially that prom dress group they created on facebook, would push some girls to embarrass themselves by fighting over a dress. First world problems: that slut bought the same dress as I did for prom. Third world problem: my mom died so I could have the last meal.
What the hell, is wrong with us all?
I usually am a forward person. And I like it when my friends tell me straight up if there is an issue between us. (Btw, I like to jump from one topic to the next randomly. Out of nowhere. So bear with me. Or you can f**k off.) You would think that people in general wouldn't have a problem with that, being forward. But no, that's not how it works - there are always lies so that 'the other person doesn't get hurt'. People! Of course hearing the truth now is still going to hurt. So will it later on - even more should I say. Hence, why not tell the truth right f**king now? It's as if they want you to build up the feelings, the attachment so that one day, they can decide when to let things blow up in your face. And then they apologize. "Sorry, I never meant to hurt you."Do they really think a fuck is given when they "didn't mean to"? NO. No fuck is given. It still hurts like hell you bloody fools. Isn't it a lot easier to just say you're sorry? You may mean it. But you should allow the other person to feel whatever the f**k they want to feel. Instead of wasting your saliva by apologizing, do something about it. Take action! Try to make it right. Not a damn is given to your sorry. Action - it can be so powerful I tell ya. Yeah, I'm done ranting about that now. (I am one f**ked lady.)
After months of preparation and stress over pointless barbaric little things, the night that we all have been waiting for the past two years was finally here. And now it's over. Prom is over. Was it worth it? All that money spent. All the heartache we inflicted on ourselves out of jealousy. It's sad that I allowed myself to be dragged down by those brainless little bitches who will, according to me, be very disappointed the day they discover the center of the universe, and realize that they are not it. My dad always said that movies are the closest reflections to what life is really about. That's debatable, but somehow correct in some aspects. I never thought prom, especially that prom dress group they created on facebook, would push some girls to embarrass themselves by fighting over a dress. First world problems: that slut bought the same dress as I did for prom. Third world problem: my mom died so I could have the last meal.
What the hell, is wrong with us all?
But overall, I would give the night an 8. I had a blast being on the dancefloor all night long. The music was good. The people was alright. It was nice to see some friends (who are not very good dancers based on what I've seen) let loose a little. But hey, it's prom. We're graduating. Who gives a f**k? Most of these people are going to be out of your life in a few weeks' time. It will be a fresh start and you'll be given the chance to choose who you want to be. PEACE OUT high school.